Curse

MMSDome · Dec 10, 2009, 05:11 PM // 17:11

Got this in an e-mail. Bet you this makes you angry.

Quote:

It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico, where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.

Here are the Stellas for the past year:

* SEVENTH PLACE *

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

Start scratching!

* SIXTH PLACE *

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps.

Scratch some more...

* FIFTH PLACE *

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching. There are more...

Two-hand scratching after this one.

* FOURTH PLACE *

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbour's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

Pick a new spot to scratch. You're getting a bald spot!

* THIRD PLACE *

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. Whatever happened to people being responsible for their own actions?

Only two more so ease up on the scratching....

* SECOND PLACE *

Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000.... Oh yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.

Ok. Here we go!!

* FIRST PLACE *

This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down? She got $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.
Are we, as a society, getting more stupid....
or are more members of Congress serving on juries these days?

I pwnd U · Dec 10, 2009, 05:30 PM // 17:30

Well it all makes perfect sense to me! >.> Stupid sue happy country...

JupiterStarWarrior · Dec 10, 2009, 05:47 PM // 17:47

What the...? Why didn't I get this email. I subscribe to Stella Awards.

Anyway, I also subscribe to "This is True", which is a weekly newsletter compromising of weird, but true, stories from around the world. Stories include people doing crazy things, as well as "Zero Tolerance" stories. Not surprisingly, I was actually introduced to Zero Tolerance stupidity with my subscription to "True". I honestly suggest you check this out. There are two feeds: the Premium subscription feed ($24 per year) which gives you 9-10 stories each week, and the Free subscription feed, which gives you half that amount, plus advertisements (in the form of embedded text advertisements). Go with the free feed; if you like what you get, go with the Premium feed; it's worth the less than $0.50/issue.

PS: The current "This is True" issue can be found here.

Winterclaw · Dec 10, 2009, 07:12 PM // 19:12

I found it funny. Still, there should be laws that protect people from getting sued by idiots or people who have things happen to them while they are committing a crime.

Rocky Raccoon · Dec 10, 2009, 07:20 PM // 19:20

If it weren't for ambulance chasing lawyers and an abundance of stupid people we wouldn't have half the frivolous lawsuits that come before the courts.

Windf0rce · Dec 10, 2009, 07:20 PM // 19:20

BTW, US is not the whole America.

Funny lawsuits anyway, pretty awkward...

Verene · Dec 10, 2009, 07:54 PM // 19:54

I really wish that the people who bring up the hot coffee lawsuit as an example of a frivolous lawsuit would actually do some damn research on it...

MMSDome · Dec 10, 2009, 08:05 PM // 20:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Windf0rce

BTW, US is not the whole America.

Funny lawsuits anyway, pretty awkward...

O I am sorry for not choosing my words carefully. Enlighten me on what other country people refer to when saying America or what group of people are called Americans in reference to what country they belong to.

My bad, sir.

keli · Dec 10, 2009, 08:19 PM // 20:19

America is a continent
I bet you think about the USA but I'm not sure. Please explain more carefully next time.

MMSDome · Dec 10, 2009, 09:35 PM // 21:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by keli

America is a continent
I bet you think about the USA but I'm not sure. Please explain more carefully next time.

North America and South America are continents.

When people say American they are referring to people from USA. We dont say USAsians.

I can't believe I need to even explain this.

MisterB · Dec 10, 2009, 10:56 PM // 22:56

Truth is stranger than fiction. Where do they find these jurors? Why are criminals being awarded fines paid for by their victims?

MMSDome · Dec 10, 2009, 10:58 PM // 22:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterB

Truth is stranger than fiction. Where do they find these jurors? Why are criminals being awarded fines paid for by their victims?

Who knows, it's a shame that guy survived that many days in her garage. She should be suing him for the soda he stole in the garage.

Winterclaw · Dec 10, 2009, 11:04 PM // 23:04

America refers to the US but it can also refer to one of the continents.
Americas refers to both continents.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMSDome

I can't believe I need to even explain this.

That's because people who live in a country that doesn't have America in its name still think that the general term America applies to them and for Americans, America generally means the US.

The answer to this problem of perception is clear, the US should nuke every country in this hemisphere that is not a part of the US and conquer the whole thing. That would settle the debate real quick.

Kumu Honua · Dec 10, 2009, 11:05 PM // 23:05

All this shows is that out legal system is run by loopholes, and lawyers that should be drowned and that "Peers" includes the retards.

If I was one of those defendants, I would appeal on the grounds that they were not a jury of my peers as my IQ is vastly superior to that of wet celery.

zelgadissan · Dec 10, 2009, 11:09 PM // 23:09

I got listed as a potential juror for my city in 2010. If I hear anything like this, I'm going to get arrested for falling out of my chair laughing at the plaintiffs in court.

Malice Black · Dec 11, 2009, 12:25 AM // 00:25

Dear Lord,

Thanks for making Americans dumb.

Amen

Kumu Honua · Dec 11, 2009, 12:36 AM // 00:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Malice Black

Dear Lord,

Thanks for making Americans dumb.

Amen

Right. Like there are no morons in your country of origin. Stupidity is universal.

Divinitys Creature · Dec 11, 2009, 01:07 AM // 01:07

It's not worth trying hard to do something when you could just become one of these lawyers and feast off the stupidity that surrounds you.

MMSDome · Dec 11, 2009, 01:15 AM // 01:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kumu Honua

Right. Like there are no morons in your country of origin. Stupidity is universal.

What you meant to say is that what Malice said was quite ironic.

Black Metal · Dec 11, 2009, 01:21 AM // 01:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Winterclaw

The answer to this problem of perception is clear, the US should nuke every country in this hemisphere that is not a part of the US and conquer the whole thing. That would settle the debate real quick.

I'm all for that. Starting with the South and Central American commies.

Anyways, when someone opens a civil claim (as opposed to an entity being prosecuted legally by the state or county), trial by jury is how this great country works. Which is a jury of peers, regular people unlucky enough to get a jury summons. Why am I explaining pre-school civics?